


Lena's Long Night

by jollywriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jollywriter/pseuds/jollywriter
Summary: Lena gets drunk to cope with the pain of unreciprocated love while she tries to work through her feelings for Kara Danvers.





	

Lena Luthor sat on the pristine white couch in her office, nursed a glass of vodka, and wondered just how badly she’d fucked up her life with poor choices. Her eyes settled on the balcony she’d had installed, and decided that was the first one. At least, when she was working, she couldn’t see it. The balcony was behind her.

It remained distracting, though. She’d wonder if _She_ would show up. Would she hear the sliding door? Would Lena notice her land?

She’d knock. That was how she was. She wouldn't go out of her way to startle Lena. Surprise her pleasantly, maybe. But not scare.

Lena deflated. And kicked herself. She wondered how quickly she could get drunk. Wondered if it was easy to get shit-faced from her private stash in the office and go home.

No, because there was the limo driver and he’d notice. He’d ask no questions, but he’d notice. And Lena wanted no compulsion to explain anything.

She glanced at her desk again. Tried to scrounge in her mind to recall the day of the week.

Friday. It was Friday night. Well that’s one kindness. No one would come in tomorrow except maybe the cleaning staff.

Lena got to her feet, a little unsteady. Maybe she’d drunk more than she’d realized. At her desk, she pulled a piece of paper from the printer tucked neatly into the bottom left side of the desk, and wrote, in a big black marker:

**DO NOT ENTER UNTIL SUNDAY EVENING**

She signed her name on the bottom. In case someone got the idea that anyone else would demand privacy for the next day and a half.

It’s not like anyone would give her any grief for it. Her brother certainly acted exponentially more eccentric.

And then she deflated. Her brother could, until he set that monster loose on Metropolis, get away with eccentricity. It’s almost expected of obscenely rich billionaires.

But when was the last time you heard about a lady billionaire acting out? Trick question, you didn’t. Because society crucifies women who stepped out. Who were too vocal with their ambition, too cold to cameras, too seriously composed.

She clenched her fist and nearly ruined the paper in her hand. She smoothed it, and then, with a small piece of scotch tape, she went to the glass door at the front of the executive suite of offices, and taped it to the outer door.

On the way back to her couch, she tried to figure out why she was getting hammered, by herself, in her office, on a Friday night.

To a degree, it was that public relations campaign that got her into this mess. Kat Grant was a dear professional friend, and when Lena asked for a reporter to compose an interview to stir up some positive good will in National City, Kat sent Kara.

Lena, halfway back to her office, stopped dead on the thought of her. Kara.

She put her hands to her face, pushed her hair back, and tried to regain her composure.

Emotions poured through her and tore at her conscious mind as she struggled with them all. Anger at Kara, jealousy for her choice, sadness at the outcome, love—

She clenched her teeth and balled her fists, and screwed her eyes so tightly shut her head began to ache.

No, she was not drunk enough to cope with this. She went back to her office, slammed the door, and poured vodka into the glass until it was nearly full. She took a long swallow, it burned and made her cough, and she realized there were easier ways to get privacy.

She put the vodka gently down, and went back to her desk. Grabbed the phone, and dialed the reception area. Given the time, the only person there was the security guard.

“LuxCorp, how may I help you?” The guard asked.

“This is Lena Luthor. I’m working upstairs this weekend. Would you please ensure that no one disturbs me? No one up here until at least Sunday night?”

“Certainly, Ms. Luthor, we can get the word out on that.”

“Thank you.” She said, and hung up.

She went back to her couch, kicked off her heels, and thumped down.

What made this worse is how stupid she was. Which was even more frustrating given how egregiously intelligent she was.

She immediately made a mental correction. Intelligence does not equate common sense. Common sense would have told her not to fall in love with the beautiful, kind, caring, passionate, intelligent assistant who worked for Kat Grant.

She should’ve utilized some of that intelligence to read the situation for what it was: hopeless. Pursuing this course leads to pain.

Yet, determined though she was, she figured she could win Kara over. She thought the flowers was a start. Was that the start? Or was the balcony the start?

The balcony, for sure.

She’d met Supergirl before she’d realized it was Kara. But it didn’t take much to put two and two together. That was even before her mother came to her with the plan to kill Kara. Because clearly, no Luthor can stand the presence of a breathing Kryptonian.

Lena wasn’t often grateful for being adopted. But she wondered hard if there was a genetic compulsion to being a Luthor that made them hate Kryptonians.

Lena sighed. She couldn’t let herself off the hook that easily. Given how much she hated Mon-El. He was Kryptonian too.

In her defense, he’s also a smarmy prick and everyone with any common sense disliked him.

Except Kara.

Lena kicked herself, and took a drink. She laughed at herself. What a drinking game she’d invented! Take a shot every time she pined for Kara.

She drank again. The glass was almost empty and her head swam.

Lena put the glass to her temple to ease the ache in her skull. It soothed her, a little. She didn’t know what to do next. Other than refill the glass.

It was an indicator at how much she’d drunk that she felt her control start to slip. She began to cry. She thumped the glass down and put her head in her hands while she sobbed.

She was used to crying herself to sleep. When she was a child, she’d do it night after night when her mother told her she wasn’t a “real” Luthor. Nothing she did pleased her mother. Eventually, Lena gave up trying. Smart as she was, it took her an embarrassing number of years to get to that place.

For a time, Lena figured she’d beaten it. She didn’t get hurt badly enough. She was careful, she was stronger than that, and she didn’t let people get close enough to wound her so easily.

She didn’t cry when her brother released that monstrosity on Metropolis and Superman died trying to contain it. She didn’t cry as the expansive nature of his sins came to light.

She’d always suspected it and all she felt when she realized it was resignation. Another mess she had to clean up after.

Not that anyone else in her family wanted to help. This was a personal mission for Lena.

She’d moved to National City to try. That’s what made this so painful.

Lena’d come here for a fresh start, to make up for the cruelty spawned under the Luthor name. To make amends, public and private, to the world for the pain they’d caused.

Meeting and getting close to Kara “Supergirl” Danvers seemed to help. She hadn’t realized, first time they’d met, that Kara was Supergirl. It was an easy realization to make, however. Kara, clever though she was, didn’t separate the two identities nearly so well.

Kara possessed, innately, the same qualities that were so publically evident in Supergirl. That kindness, the gentleness, the willingness to help, couldn’t be hidden by big glasses and an ‘aw shucks’ act.

It wasn’t an act, though. That’s what had been so ingratiating to Lena. Kara was so _authentic_ and so genuinely kind.

It bothered Lena that she’d had so little control over how fast she fell for Kara. It was obvious, now, looking back at it through tipsy hindsight.

What kind of stupid-ass idea had it been to build a balcony?

Lena shook her head slowly. Normal people asked the people they cared about out for a drink. Normal people didn’t fill apartments with flowers. Or build balconies so superheroes could visit.

A song she listened to a lot on the way to National City had a line in it, “When you’re always almost lonely, you forget to take it slowly.” There was nothing “take it slow” about building a balcony so the woman she fell in love with could visit.

She wondered if she could discreetly get rid of the balcony. Supergirl wasn’t likely to return, not for a late-night moment on Lena’s couch.

Lena cried harder. Why had she fallen so fast? She’d never let herself go that easily for others. Never before.

What was it about Kara that made her fall so fast?

A dozen answers blitzed her thoughts. Kara’s kindness, her cheerfulness, the lengths she went to help people, the willingness she’d had to look past the sins of Lena’s family name and see her as a person.

Lena wiped at her eyes. It didn’t matter anymore. She was an idiot and she’d been stupid to even think she had a chance.

She realized the greater source of pain was the choice Kara made. Why him? Lena could cope if Kara chose James. Lena could _understand_ that, to the core of her.

James was a _good_ man. Someone worthy of a Supergirl.

But Mon-El? Really? He was cruel, he possessed no kindness, he was a leech that drained the goodness that the rest of the world relied on Kara to share.

Lena refilled her glass. It didn’t matter anyway. She had no power to stop them. And she didn’t want to. If nothing else, she wanted to be a pleasant memory for Kara. No matter what, she wouldn’t destroy that trust.

She wouldn’t hurt Kara. No matter how Kara inadvertently hurt her.

Lena heard the sliding door slip open. She didn’t look up. She’d imagined it. A thousand times today, she’d imagined that door opening and Kara would be there in her uniform and her hair would be down and curly and windswept and she’d be doe-eyed and kind and smiling and Lena couldn’t take it.

Someone knocked lightly against the glass.

Lena looked at her feet and wept silently. She shuddered with the outpouring of emotion.

“Lena?” Kara asked. Lena heard Kara’s boots as she approached, slowly. Her voice was gentle and concerned.

Tears spilled down Lena’s face and her hand began to shake, her breath came in unsteady gasps and her heart _ached_ , so fiercely she wondered if it’d just fucking stop.

“Lena?” Kara asked, closer and even gentler. “What’s wrong?”

Lena made noise in her throat, her hand shook and she felt the glass slipping from her fingers. She tried to catch it, failed, but it didn’t land on the ground and shatter.

Kara caught it.

And then she was there. Kneeling, in front of Lena, perfect face contorted with worry and fear and sadness.

Lena couldn’t stop herself. “I’m sorry,” Lena said. “I am, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop the glass.”

Kara put the glass on the coffee table to the left, and shook her head, “It’s okay, Lena. It is, I promise. What’s wrong?” Kara sat down on the couch next to her.

Lena wracked her brain for a lie. She didn’t want to confess she’d been crying over Kara.

But how could she admit to feeling heartbroken without sounding jealous and stupid and petty? If Kara wanted Mon-El, Lena had no right to stand in her way. Kara did so much for the world. Who was Lena to deny her what she wanted?

Lena shook her head, “I don’t know how to say it.” she couldn’t stop crying. Now that she’d started the hurt continued to pour out of her.

Worse yet, all her tears didn’t ease her pain. She just cried and cried and poured herself out but it didn’t soften the pain in her chest and on her heart.

“Lena,” Kara said, and reached over. Her hands were gentle on Lena’s shoulders, and Lena collapsed. She had no idea how much strength it’d taken to hold herself up but once Kara offered, Lena had no strength to resist her. Kara tugged, gently, and Lena collapsed against Kara and cried.

Lena drew her hands to her face and tried to find some semblance of control. She had none to give.

What’s worse is she _savored_ Kara. She loved that Kara’s arms were around her, she loved and relished the feeling of safety that Kara gave her. There was respite in being held by Kara. Despite that, she tried not to get lost in it.

“Lena,” Kara said, her voice soft just above her, “You can tell me. I want to help, if I can.”

“I don’t know how you do.” Lena said, and she calmed. It wasn’t true calm, she knew that. She’d just paused. She clamped down on her outburst and she steadied her breathing and she pushed herself gently upright. Kara released her begrudgingly.

“I’m your friend,” Kara said. “And I want to help.”

“I don’t know how to answer that without sounding childish and petty.”

“Well. I don’t think you’re childish. Or petty. So. I won’t think your response is?” Kara shrugged.

“God, you’re adorable.”

“Thank you.” Kara smiled weakly. “Lena, why are you crying?”

“Because I let myself go, and I got hurt.”

“How do you mean?”

“I like someone who does not like me back.”

“I’m sure they do!” Kara nudged her. “Who wouldn’t like you?”

“A lot of people.”

“Well none of them are in this room so they don’t matter.” Kara said with total finality.

Lena sighed. “I guess.”

Kara didn’t push. Lena was briefly grateful for that, but then she realized that Kara _wouldn't_ push. It would be up to Lena to continue, or just leave this hanging.

“I don’t know how to cope with this,” Lena found herself confessing. “I think I may love this girl, but she doesn’t want me. And she means so much to me but I don’t know how to process it.” Lena sighed. “Never mind. This is silly.” Lena tried to stand.

“No, it isn’t,” Kara grabbed her hand and Lena fell back onto the couch with a little yelp. “Who is she?”

Lena couldn’t do it. She couldn’t answer. Lena shook her head.

“Well,” Kara said. “I think you should tell her. Have you asked her how she feels?”

“And say what?” Lena asked. “Just ask her if she has a crush on me?”

“Well,” Kara shrugged, “Maybe.”

Lena sighed. “This girl is special. I don’t want to mess things up with her.”

“You know who you should talk to? Maggie. Maggie’s really smart. And she’s dealt with this kind of thing before. She was so supportive of Alex when Alex was coming to grips with her sexuality.”

“No,” Lena said. “I think I just want to go to bed.”

“Do you want a lift home?” Kara asked. “It’s no trouble.”

Lena hesitated. She didn’t want to leave. She looked at Kara and saw how earnest she was, and she got lost in Kara’s eyes, the kindness of her gaze, the utter gentleness to her.

“Maybe in a minute,” Lena breathed.

Kara grinned awkwardly. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Lena took a deep breath. “I want to tell her so much.”

“Like what?”

“Like, she lifts me up. She inspires me to do better and be better and I _am_ better because of her. I want to be worthy of her presence.”

“You’re a wonderful person,” Kara said, and nudged Lena, “I’m sure she’s into you.”

“I hope so.”

“You should just tell her how you feel. Outright, I mean.”

Lena took a slow breath. And then gave up, mentally.

“It’s you.” Lena said, and braced herself.

“What?” Kara asked.

Lena groaned inwardly. “It’s you, Kara. You’re the one I’m falling for.” She cringed and braced herself.

Nothing happened.

Lena stole a glance at Kara, whose eyebrows were comically high on her face and her eyes were big with disbelief.

“No,” Kara said, drawing the word out.

“What did you think the apartment full of flowers meant?” Lena asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Well, I mean, now that I think of it, I know what that meant, but I didn’t realize it at the time.”

“But you want Mon-El.”

“No I don’t.” Kara said immediately.

“What?” Lena blurted.

“Alex, um. Alex intervened.”

“Did she kill him?”

“No, but it wasn’t because she didn’t want to,” Kara admitted.

“What happened?” this had not gone at all how Lena imagined it might.

“Well, Alex sat me down and explained some stuff I hadn’t seen. Because, much as I like him, he doesn’t support me. He says I make him weak and I’m uncomfortable with that.” Kara looked away. “I’m sorry. This isn’t about me.”

“I mean, it kinda is. So. Um. Continue?”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked.

“Do you want a drink?”

“Okay?”

Lena, without thinking, grabbed her already drunk-from glass, topped it off with fresh ice and vodka, and handed it to Kara. She took a sip from it without hesitation. “I didn’t replace the glass,” Lena realized.

Kara smacked her lips, and then looked at Lena, and then at Lena’s lips, and back at the glass. “That’s okay.”

Lena blushed furiously and covered her mouth with her hand and looked away.

“I have been bamboozled.” Lena whispered.

“What?” Kara asked.

“Oh shush,” Lena thwacked Kara’s knee playfully. “You heard me.”

Kara grinned sheepishly. “Okay yeah I did.”

“Go on,” Lena faced Kara. “You had realizations.”

“I can’t be Supergirl every minute of the day. I mean. I am. I am Supergirl. But like. I can’t catch falling airliners or pick up boxed-up neutron stars every minute of every day. And, emotionally speaking,” She took a breath and pointed with her finger, “I think Maggie is teaching Alex how to communicate feelings and stuff better.”

“Really?”

“Maggie is so good with talking, oh my gosh,” Kara gushed. “I wanna learn more.”

“I think we can figure it out.” Lena said, inhibitions gone. She didn’t think it was because of the booze. If this was the one chance to come clean with Kara, she was going to be wholly honest and absolutely up-front with her.

“This would be a start,” Kara grinned.

Lena worked hard to control her immediately soaring heart.

“Anyway. Mon-El may become a good man and a real hero. But I can’t carry him there, and I can’t give him my all every minute of every day. Alex thinks I need someone who lifts _me_ up. And inspires me.”

“I agree,” Lena nodded. “And even if that’s not me, I believe you absolutely deserve someone like that.”

“I think it is you,” Kara’s voice was soft and gentle and her eyes were so kind and imploring.

Despite wanting it with her entire being, that stopped Lena dead.

It was a dream. Something that she’d fantasized about. She wanted Kara, wholly and badly and deeply, but she didn’t know what to do now that Kara reciprocated.

“Are you messing with me?” Lena asked, tears starting to form in her eyes again. That was the only explanation.

“What?” Kara squeaked, “No, Lena, no, I mean it. I want _you_. I get excited whenever I see you. And I think of my apartment full of flowers from you and that makes me giddy and happy and all light headed and I talk about you to Alex so often that she wants me to talk about something else and—“

“Really?” Lena whispered.

“Yes.” Kara took both of Lena’s hands in her own. “I want you. Only you.”

Lena hesitated, then whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” Kara said, without hesitation, and reached for Lena. Her hands were warm as they touched the sides of Lena’s face, and brushed her hair back. Lena leaned forward, rested her hands on Kara’s shoulders. Kara embraced her.

Lena looked into Kara’s eyes and was lost, then down at her lips, they kissed.

In that single moment, Lena was the calmest she’d felt at any moment in her entire life. She felt whole and complete and calm and safe and protected and lost in the taste of Kara. Her hands wandered to Kara’s back, and Lena pulled her closer.

Kara slipped her arms around Lena’s waist.

They leaned back together against the couch in each other’s arms. Lena pulled back first, and stared into Kara’s eyes.

Kara was dazed.

“I’m sorry I’m tipsy. It’s been a hard night.”

“I wish I’d known,” Kara lightly brushed Lena’s hair aside. “I would’ve come and eased your pain.”

“You have,” Lena leaned in, and kissed Kara again. Kara giggled.

It was better than Lena could’ve ever imagined.

“Will you be here in the morning?” Lena asked. “When I’m sober?”

“Will you remember tonight?”

“I’m not that drunk. Not even close,” Lena said. “I just don’t know if I could survive this if it’s a dream.”

“Yeah,” Kara said. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Can we go back to your place?”

“Yeah,” Kara said, “We can.”

“Thank you, Supergirl.”

Kara blushed. “You’re the only person I’d ever want to fly back home with me.”

And then Lena blushed. She kissed Kara lightly, and Kara picked her up effortlessly, and left Lena’s penthouse office.

 

 

#

 

 

Lena woke the next morning on a couch. Not the first time. The awkward sleeping position plus the crick in her back told her of her predicament before she’d fully woken up. That, and a heavy weight across the right side of her body.

She looked over, and was lost in a tangle of golden curls. She brushed Kara’s hair aside—

Kara. Lena smiled, despite herself.

Kara was asleep, curled up and tucked into the couch next to Lena. She wasn’t wearing her boots. But she still wore her uniform. Kara’s cape covered them both.

Lena smiled so fully she felt like she might burst.

“My hero,” Lena whispered, and kissed Kara’s forehead.

 

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> the song is called "Wild Things" by Ladyhawke. I listened to it on repeat while I wrote this.
> 
> so it's rough and I apologize for that. I had a terrible night and I wrote this to cope. and cheer myself up. Also I just love Kara and Lena with the entirety of my heart and they both deserve better. There's strong language in this.


End file.
